I wrote this for the Toronto Star, it ran today:

What’s left when someone leaves us? The desktop of my computer is a photograph of a woman, close-up, from the neck down. We can’t see her face but we see that she is wearing a t-shirt. A very particular t-shirt. On it is a painted wolf, looking at us, vaguely detached yet imminently present. Who could the woman in this t-shirt be but Tracy Wright? Certainly those who knew her would agree. This sort of wardrobe choice - ironic but child-like, random yet considered - was indicative of Tracy’s beautiful, complex personality.

What does a person leave behind? A favourite pair of shoes, a book often read but never finished, a stack of CD’s, a wedding ring, seven years of tax returns? Do these objects somehow add up to a human? A personality? An essence? This was the question that Tracy and Don McKellar and Daniel Brooks asked in 1995 in their show “86”. A question that led the audience to a kind of catharsis while leaving us with many more and deeply personal questions – both disquieting and comforting – a hallmark of the work of their genre-defining theatre collective the Augusta Company. And it is in the spirit of “86” that Don decided he wanted to honour his working-partner and wife Tracy in a tribute to her life to be presented this Monday evening at Hart House Theatre. For the last few weeks a collection of her family and friends from the film and theatre communities have been putting together this evening which is part celebration, part ritual, an invocation and a love letter, casual but rigorously theatrical. In it we hope to express our sense of Tracy – our senses of Tracy – with a series of objects; some concrete like a t-shirt, some ethereal like a song. Things left behind.

Something tangible that Tracy has left us with is her luminescent performance in Bruce MacDonald’s film Trigger which has been chosen to be the inaugural film of the Bell Lightbox theatre, Toronto International Film Festival’s new permanent home, as part of TIFF on September 12. A few years ago Bruce approached me and asked if I would be interested in writing a film that was a loose homage to Louis Malle’s 1991 My Dinner With Andre by way of a rock n’roll movie. This to me was a dream task. After the initial draft had been written – for two men - Bruce suggested we cast two females in the roles. The first two women we thought of for these roles were Tracy and the gifted and radiant Molly Parker. The rewrite was so effortless that it was clear to me this casting had been some kind of kismet. Then Bruce set about the unenviable task of trying to raise funds to shoot. Jennifer Jonas and Leonard Farlinger of New Real Films enthusiastically came on board as producers and the trudge continued toward realizing the film. Interest came and went and we continued to push forward in fits and starts. Then in December Tracy was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer - on her fiftieth birthday. We were all stunned. What could we do? What action could we take? How could we make this better? Thoughts turned to the film. This would be something that would bring us together, where we could build something creative in a time of profound uncertainty. It was love and passion and sweat and great goodwill no small amount of magic that saw a feature film come together on a ridiculous schedule of five weekends in January and February of this past year. It was a beautiful, blessed time and a testament to the love of an entire community for Tracy as an actress and a human being.

Watching the film now is a bittersweet experience for those of us who knew Tracy. We marvel at how simple she makes it look, how deep she is willing to go. And it seems she is still with us – but at the same time, in that flickering-light nostalgia of cinema she is so untouchable, so gone. What is left behind? A film, a story, a document, a performance, a perfect moment? In some way yes. But really it feels that what is left of value in the end, is not the objects, not the memories, but us, how we love her.

The odd dog (photo by Trent Boswick)

This was taken in Point Pleasant Park this summer.  Lots of dog park these days.  Working on Tracy’s tribute with Don and Daniel.

On the Way to the Park

Saw this on my way to the dog park. Always something to learn. Although this was most certainly not meant for me since I was most certainly not drunk. But I’m sure it was helpful to some poor, lost, confused soul.

On an arts council jury this week. Lots of reading to do. LOTS. A veritable ton. When this jury is done I focus on the Stratford play about a dog - that happens at the end of October in workshop with Iris as dramaturge and Nova Scotia’s brilliant John Beale as my acting foil. The play has no title at this time and so we’re referring to it as the Dog Show. It will be about more than dogs I suspect.

“Marion Bridge” opened last night at Kansas City Actors Theater.  A good review here in the Kansas City Star.

http://www.kansascity.com/2010/08/28/2183411/review-marion-bridge.html

Just So You Know

Found this on the street walking back from the dog park this morning. That’s 268 days from now (inclusive).  I’m curious why Anderson Cooper doesn’t have this information. Or the people at the weather network. Regardless it’s good to know if one is considering quitting smoking or thinking about putting a big purchase on the credit card or if people who live in Toronto are worried about the possibility of a moron as mayor. Relax, a year from now it won’t matter a bit.

Brooks and I are helping Don to get this together. Monday September 6.

Me Sandwich with Trace and Moll - “Trigger” Set

On Monday saw “Trigger” at the cast and crew screening.  I brought the odd dog and we sat alone together.  That was the perfect way to watch.  The movie is beautifully put together - I hadn’t seen it since picture-lock so the sound mix was new to me.  The choices were great.  The credit song is “Five Ghosts” by Stars - very fitting.  It was hard for me to distance myself from the experience of making the movie, of Tracy, of the energy of the group surrounding the experience - to just watch the film.  Maybe someday this will be possible.

“Trigger” will be opening the new Toronto Film Festival permanent theatre - the TIFF Lightbox - on Sunday, September 12th as part of the festival and then 2 weeks later it will begin its commercial run.

Tuesday met with Bruce MacD to talk about another project.  Another medium now, more info to come.  These days finishing inputting the changes and Japanese translations to “Arigato, Tokyo”.  It will be the final draft.

Photo by Matthieu Paly (A Winner from Banff Mountain Photograph Competition)

I passed this photo a hundred times while in Banff, it was hanging in the lobby of the Sally Borden Building.  It wasn’t until the last morning I saw it.  I wish you could see the photo in person, the eyes the eyes the eyes.  I can’t imagine what it would be like to see the person in person.

I am at home now.  Happily.  I’m inputting the changes to the script along with the Japanese translation, should take a day or two.  Tonight there is a cast and crew screening of “Trigger” at the Royal Theatre on College Street.   Oh and below is a photo of one of our ASM’s on the Banff Workshop, Ruby Bantock, to whom I gave the nickname “Ruuuuuuuubyyyyyyyy!!”  It seemed to stick.  Ruby said it was a goal of hers to make it onto the blog.  So here she is.

Ruby and some guy (photo by Mieko)

The Set

That’s a bed with a kimono on it.  And music stands, since it is after all a “reading”.  All went well.  A nice crowd.  Vicki S and Vanessa P came up from ATP in Calgary.  Sherrie J was there since she’s here for the Air India opera that Push is co-producing in Vancouver.  A couple of students Taylor and Lyle drove all the way from Red Deer.   Our first audience and I learned a lot.  I probably wasn’t as “in” the show as I might have been because I was so aware as the director of the overview, and as the writer of the underneath.   But as I said learned a lot.  And as I write that I ask myself, “What exactly did I learn?”, and I can’t articulate the answer.  Perhaps I need a bit more time and distance to put words to it.   Maybe even after our final reading today I’ll have a more clear answer to my question.  But I know that I feel like I learned a lot.  Perhaps I learned that the play is about feeling.

The Gang on a Break (Shawn, Shomee, Mieko, Iris and David)

Work through this morning and a run this afternoon.  Kelly, who runs the theatre section and Phillip from the Walker Arts Center in Philly were there for the run (Phillip just happened to be in the area).  It was great having an audience, we all stepped up our game and the show dropped in a bit more.  Tomorrow we work through with lights and then run for the public in the evening.

Iris in Her Natural Habitat

Long day.  Good day.  The space is much bigger than the rehearsal space and so it was a bit of a job running through the show for Julia our lighting designer.  Iris is a great help as an outside eye with a special concern for “honouring the text” as Iris (constantly) puts it.  Today was transitions and tech tomorrow a focus on scene work.

Mieko, Lamp

Lots of laughs in the rehearsal hall.  An especially good sign for a play that is for the most part a tragedy.  We’re connecting on many levels.  Did some great work with Iris on the script and a few more tweaks and we’re there.  Tomorrow we’re on the stage for the first time.  In the days to come some lights, some sound.

Iris and David

Ran the “show” for Iris today.  She felt we had become a bit lost in trying to rush through transitions.  She reminded me that the transitions are not really so much transitions as the tissue of the play, the flesh.  David’s character Etta, goes from being the narrator to being the hero and this story is told around the play rather than through it.   This is the importance of the transitions, the tissue. Text-wise however we’re in very good shape.  Tomorrow is a work day for Iris and I on our own and then back with the actors on Monday.

Poster (photo by Guntar)

Made it through to the end of the play today.  It is blocked.  Tomorrow we will stumble through before showing it to Iris.  Hoping that we’re going to be able to get a bit of a lighting design.  We’ve only got a couple of hours of tech on Friday before the first showing but fingers crossed.

One Side of the Table: Marcie and Shawn

The Other Side of the Table: The Set

Above is Marcie Januska, our heaven-sent Stage Manager, and my right hand man AD Shawn Sorensen.   Marcie recently SM’d “Communion” at Alberta Theatre Projects and Shawn worked with me as ASM on “A Beautiful View” in Vancouver.  The workshop is going well.  Moving through at a pace of about 20 pages a day.  The goal is to get it blocked for Friday morning when Iris gets here.  With our limited resources I’m discovering how simply and fluidly the play can be staged.  The room we’re working it strikes both Mieko and I as a room very much like the kind of room one might rehearse in in Tokyo.  Fitting.  The crew at Banff has been amazing, really stepping us to help us take the “reading” as far as we possibly can.  We move into the theatre next week.  All good all good.

From My Room

Back in Banff.  The nights are cold.  It’s refreshing.  The energy is great.  Started the work today on “Arigato, Tokyo” with Mieko Ouchi as Nushi, Shomee Chakrabartty as Yori, David  Yee as Etta and me playing Carl.  There will be two public “staged readings” in two weeks.  We got through 18 pages today.  Very good.  Iris arrives on Friday to throw her two cents (or twenty dollars) into the mix.  Miss the odd dog.

A room with no walls or ceiling or floor. It seems to be surrounded by sky. But it may be something else. It is blue. Tracy Wright is sitting, waiting. Maury Chaykin enters. He says, “Oh hi, how are you?”. Tracy shrugs and smiles. Maury says, “Oh yes, I guess that’s a strange question, considering.” Tracy says, “I’m good, I’m fine.“ Maury asks, “What are you doing?” Tracy says, “Waiting”. Maury asks, “How long have you been waiting?” Tracy says, “A month or so.” Maury wrinkles his face. Tracy says, “But it’s actually fine. It’s good.” Maury asks, “Do you know what you’re waiting for exactly?” Tracy says, “Reassignment.” Maury asks, “Who chooses?” Tracy says, “We do.  We all do.” Maury asks, “What are you going to choose?” Tracy says, “I was thinking maybe a housefly. Or a moth. Something that doesn’t have a huge time commitment. “ She looks at Maury, he is considering something. Tracy asks him, “What will you choose?” Maury says, “Perhaps a tulip. Can I choose that?” Tracy says, “Oh yeah, or the scent of a tulip, on a particular day, to a particular person.” Maury is intrigued, “Really?” he says. He thinks a moment. “Or maybe …” he continues “… two lips.  A kiss.  Or something said. A word. A good word.” Tracy likes this, “Nice one”, she says. They sit quietly a moment, thinking. Maury looks away at the blue that might be sky, he looks back at Tracy. “I always liked you” he says. Tracy looks at Maury, “I always liked you too.” Maury says, “I saw you a lot in that crazy movie they played all the time on TV.” Tracy smiles “Oh yeah, on Showcase.” Maury says “Yeah, that movie was crazy. But in a good way.” Tracy smiles. After a moment she looks at Maury and  says “I always had a soft spot for My Cousin Vinny.” Maury nods “Me too.” They smile and look off at what might be sky. Maury says “This is was. Right?” Tracy says “I guess so.” Maury looks off at the blue.  He asks Tracy “Is that sky?” She says “I think it might be ocean.” Maury looks carefully at the blue, “Or maybe it’s just blue.” he says. Tracy says “Was blue”.  Maury laughs. Tracy smiles.

Chester Playhouse, Artistic Director’s Head

Spent some time with technical director Bob Elliot and AD Mary Lou M. today at Chester.  All is in order.  Linda G. arrives tonight. Full tech day tomorrow.  What a lovely theatre.  I’d love to have a month in there to make something.  A perfect tiny space.

Upper Grand Mira South Mountain Drive Road

Meeting at the Savoy theatre in Glace Bay yesterday to talk about “Bingo” there next summer.  All seems forward moving.  Spent the afternoon with Bryden discussing a possible future project.  Trying to get through the re-write of  ”Arigato” today.  Head for Chester on Monday to direct Linda G in “Last Dog of War”.   One more week in Nova Scotia.

If You Look Closely

Good auditions yesterday.  An abundance of choice.  That’s the best and worst thing about auditions, the choice.  It’s why I’ve always preferred simply casting from people I know.  But with “Bingo” we’re trying to create a cohesive group, believable in that they’re all former schoolmates, contemporaries, it’s best to see people back to back in a room for that.  Emmy A and our Assistant Director Richie Wilcox were there.  All the actors were good natured and we had a lot of laughter.  That’s the thing with this play, there needs to be lots of laughter in the rehearsal hall.  On a completely different note, finally getting around to “Arigato” - it’s been a job to find the correct Noh play to adapt and use in the script but with the help of Iris we have stumbled upon something magically appropriate.  Now the laborious work of fixing and fitting.  Like plumbing.  Soldering. It’s an art of its own.   Off to Sydney tomorrow for family affairs.

Outdoor Theatre (Ariel View)

Saw “The Crucible” at Ross Creek in Canning.   A great production by Ken Schwartz and great performances fromt the cast.  It’s a play I haven’t looked at in years but surely a masterpiece.  That having been said it does lack a dialectic (as a more learned theatre person than I remarked).  The argument is so clear as to lack drama.  They are wrong.  The others are right.  And that’s as far as that drama goes.  I find it a frustrating kind of storytelling.  I have a personal aversion to stories about the wrongly accused.  As if allergic to them.  But the writing is gorgeous in places and there is great stuff about being right versus being good and the morality of choice.  It’s impossible to walk away from the play and have nothing to say.  And wonderful to see excellent actors doing excellent work.  I’ve not been a fan of outdoor theatre but this really works.  Totally off the grid.  For more on this company go to artscentre.ca

Kat and Graham as Elizabeth and John Proctor  (Photo by Ken Schwartz)

On The Beach

The odd dog and I.  Some of the most extreme tides on the planet happen here.  Spent some great time in Halifax last week and back there next week briefly for “Bingo” auditions for Mulgrave Road.  Working here in a cabin on a draft of “Arigato, Tokyo” and doing some thinking about “Dog Show” a one-man-two-man-and-a-dog show that might also be called “The Public”.  I’ll be working that in workshop at Stratford in the fall.  Seeing “The Crucible” tonight at Ross Creek Arts Centre in their outdoor production directed by Ken Schwartz.  It’s very near here.  Sitting on the deck of Linda Moore’s cottage, no wifi at my place.  Which is not necessarily a bad thing.   Everything feels just a little different now.

Baille Ard Nature Trail

Wanted to post a pic of my workshop participants but the odd dog ate my USB cable for my camera and now my hard drive is inaccessible until I re-order another.  I’m working off a memory card now.   But the workshop went well for all: Kelley, Steve, Christine, Sandra B., Pam and Leeann - we all walked away with something else.

In Sydney now, spent a night in Marion Bridge with Carol Ann and Dixie the dog.  Carol showed me the new Baille Ard Nature Trail in Sydney - they allow dogs off leash.  It’s a wonderful thing and all volunteer driven.  People deserve a medal.   At the same time the Tar Pits are being drained and depending on how the wind is moving you may walk into a dense cloud of scent as if inside Beelezebub’s fart.  So it’s partly beauty and partly toxic.  Ah, the Sydney of my youth has returned with it’s stench of orange sunset.

Where We Work

Tomorrow is the last day for Great Blue Heron Writer’s Workshop.  Very busy and intense.  Good writers all with achievable goals. Feel like everyone has taken a real step forward.  Talked much about theatre.  What it might be for.  Lots of interesting answers. But all I really know is that it works for me.  For us.

A New Beach

Arrived in Nova Scotia.  Two days driving.  Seventeen hours.  Rained buckets all the way through New Brunswick today.  Beautiful. Perfect.   Stopped at the hotel and went directly to the beach with the odd dog.  It was grey and had just stopped raining. Apparently the o.d. loves the beach.  He’s a crab digger it turns out.   I’m here in Antigonish teaching playwrighting at the Great Blue Heron Writer’s Worksop which is part of St. Frances Xavier University.  I’m not sure that playwrighting can be taught, or perhaps more properly, that I can teach it, but I’ll do my best.  Had time with Iris last week working on “Arigato, Tokyo”.  I’ll finish the new draft while I’m here.  I hope it rains the all week.

Rabindrath Tagore , thanks to Ash

Charleston, South Carolina

Her Wolf

“Trigger” with Molly

Queen’s Park on Sugar and Helium

An installation at Queen’s Park for Luminato, the Toronto Arts Festival.   It actually takes over the whole park.  It’s … Whimsical. And …  And … Um.  Did I say whimsical? Right.  Um.  Moving on.    Getting back into my reading of “The Tale of Genji” for work next week on “Arigato”.  I’ll be working with Iris daily, moving slowly through the script, scene by scene.   That should take the week, and then I have time through July to prepare for the on-our-feet workshop at Banff the first two weeks of July.  I’ll be both performing and directing the workshop, it’s the best way for me to get inside the script.  Not sure how easy it will be on the other actors.  I’ll be gentle.

Yesterday The Sky

was like this all day long.

Dog Park

Spending a lot of time at the dog park these days.  Also hanging with Tracy and Don.  Next week get down to work on the next draft of “Arigato, Tokyo” with Iris.  There was a plan to go to Banff next week but then that seemed unnecessary considering we’ll be spending two weeks there in August.   Much to think, much to do.

Folly’s Beach

Here alone for the day.  Don’t fly out until tonight.  I’m rather exhausted.  A big show.  Rented a car this morning and drove out to the beach, about 20 min from downtown.  Stunning.  Sigh.

Theatre: Outside

Theatre: Inside

Had our last show here tonight.  Went very well.  Apparently the show has audiences divided, according to Nick Smith from the City Paper.  Which is certainly understandable.  And that’s what’s great about a festival like Spoleto.  Among the gentle operas and chamber music is a show like TIWHN - something very much from somewhere else.  Tomorrow I fly home to Toronto, there was a plan that I might have to go to Halifax but that has been resolved.  A good thing.  It’s time to go home to my friends and the odd dog.  I fly out later in the day so I’ve rented a car and will take a drive out to the beach and recover from being all alone on stage in a very big theatre.

Here is a link to a fun video piece Nick did on the show for the paper:

http://www.charlestoncitypaper.com/Spoletobuzz/archives/2010/06/06/video-daniel-macivor-speaks

Hotel

This my hotel.  It was built as a citadel to ward off a feared slave revolt.  The revolt never came but the citadel remains.  In each room there is a small hole in the brick where one might fire their musket if necessary.  Some rooms (not mine thankfully) have no windows at all.

Rather big job of a show today.  300 people for the matinee and the snow machine didn’t work.  Argh.  Even still it remains invigorating doing the show in a room this size.   Heard two great Charleston stories last night.  Apparently the first transexual in North America was from Charleston - male to female, originally from Britain, opened an antique store here, had sexual reassignment surgery, married a male black servant from one of the neighboring families, a short time later they had a baby - (the big question is where did the baby come from?) - and another story about a pregnant woman some years ago who was being taken a hospital out of the city to have her baby and in a panic went out into the garden before she left and dug up a bunch of earth which she promptly scattered on the floor of the operating room because she wanted to be certain the baby was born on Charleston soil. Now that’s a city!

Garden Party

Just came from a garden party.  The garden was so large I was in this wing of it by myself with the gazebo and the infinity lap pool.  This is the Old South.  Lots of garden parties and grand estates.  Opened the show on Tuesday.  Arrived on Monday.  It’s a 500 seat house but it looks more like an 800 seat house.  A big job to manage the energy.  Show on Tuesday, day off, show last night, day off today, show tomorrow and Sunday and then home on Monday.   Enjoying doing the show, it certainly has its effect.  Especiallly in a place like Charleston which is pretty much a Republican bastion.  But that’s what’s great about a festival like Spoleto.  A taste of the larger world.   Reviews have been very good, houses have been full.  All good.  Haven’t been posting because I didn’t bring the proper USB cable to upload shots from my camera but then realized I could take pictures with my phone.   Not as good.    Wish I could show you everything as I see it.  A wonderful strange place.

Matt, Bruce and Jen in the Edit Suite (Molly on the Monitor)

Watched a nearly final cut of “Trigger” yesterday with Bruce, Jen and Matt our editor.  The picture will be locked on Monday.  It’s looking very good.  Then the sound edit begins.  Hoping to have the film finished for the fall.  It’s hard to talk about.  I brought some people (Iris and Rita) to watch and they found it moving and satisfying.  And some laughs as well.  I’m too close.  Too too close.

Reading of “Galileo” tomorrow at Convocation Hall.    Fiona will be reading for Tracy.

I leave for Charleston on Monday for “This Is What Happens Next”.  Two days of tech then open.  I’ve been spending a bit of time with the text every couple of days.  Keeps it in my mind.  Seems to still be there.   My mind that is.

“His Greatness” Workshop; Half of Mac, Paula, Peter’s Elbow

On Thursday did a one day workshop of “His Greatness” for the National Arts Centre at the Winchester Street Theatre studio.  Bernard Hopkins read the Playwright, Mac Fyfe read the Young Man.  They were stunning.  I read the Assistant.  It was very helpful to me, I got inside it like I hadn’t before.  Peter Hinton and Paula D  were both there.  Great notes.  This is a play I keep working.  Something is yet to be found.

Rehearsed “Galileo” yesterday.  We read it tonight as part of Canstage’s Festival of Ideas and Creation.  Tracy won’t be reading tonight.  Fiona H. is taking the role of Galileo.

Watching a cut of “Trigger” on DVD today.  The edit continues.

Caroline and Guntar: Birthday

Had a birthday gathering for C and G as their birthdays are a day apart.  Working on imputting all the changes I improvised into “This Is What Happens Next” during the run so that the script in South Carolina is accurate for the tech.  Yikes.  There are a lot of changes.  It’s like a rewrite.  I’m off to Stratford on Tuesday to see “Peter Pan” in previews and to have a meeting there.  Galileo rehearsals also start this week.

New Old Mirror

Picked this up at a great place called “Smash” in The Junction - Dundas West/Keele.  It’s an industrial store - they salvage old office buildings of fixtures and contents.  Does the odd dog’s bad luck go away now?

The last two shows were great.  I was a bit sloppy for the last show, tired and fighting the sacroiliac pain, but I was present with it all and so the audience and I had a good time.  Yesterday saw a chiropractor.  Magician.  One more session and I should be back to normal.  Feeling much better already.  Trying to rest.  Feel a bit like I’ve been hit by a truck.  It’s that kind of show.  The  odd dog is getting much training these days.  On the phone with Emmy a lot lately talking casting for “Bingo”.  Seeing a cut of “Trigger” on Monday.   Next week start rehearsing for “Galileo”.   Now I rest.

Last Day

This is what happens to flowers in dressing rooms.  They were from my agent.  They actually lasted up until a couple of days ago.  Two shows today and I am done.  And I am rather done.  Like dinner.  On stage though all is good.  Otherwise I struggle with having put my back out and general exhaustion.  But like I said, on stage I’m full of energy.   That’s the magic I guess.  Great show last night.  I wanted to take them all home with  me.  Some poor soul turned on their cell phone at the end of “Mike”.  I doubt they’ll do that again.  Mike found some extra rage.  Well, they had been warned.

Doing this on May 30th.  A stellar and huge cast including Tracy as Galileo with Don, Caroline, Fiona, Ann-Marie MacDonald, Kirsten Johnson, Nadia Ross, Clinton Walker, Darren O’Donnell and on and on and on.  I’m playing the Pope.  My mother will be so pleased.   If you’re in TO you must come.  They’re trying to fill the house and it seats 900!

Show is going well.  Two shows and two talkbacks yesterday.  It’s all a bit of a blur but I’m loving doing the show and the audiences are game and engaged so all is good.   Needing a bit of a break but that’s coming.  Dates are firm now for my trip to Banff where I’m working on “Arigato, Tokyo”, last week of June.  All good all good.

Zombie Shadow with Dog Shadow

I am a zombie each day.  I walk with the odd dog and maybe get in a visit with Rita.  I eat.  I sleep.  I stretch.  Like a zombie might.  Then I force myself to ride my bike to the theatre in order to breathe.  Like a zombie might forget to do.   I then throw myself around on the stage and yell for half an hour and then sit in the green room as Crystal our SM tries to give me a boost with her energy.  Then it is time to take my place and so I drink a litre of water and wait.  Then I enter the theatre.  And then suddenly at 8:05 I am human again.  The energy in the room brings me back to life and for the next 80 minutes I am not a zombie.  This is good.  This is very good.  That lasts even after the theatre is empty and the bike ride home is all whistling John Denver.  Then I walk the odd dog and eat sugar and by midnight I am slipping back into the other world.  Dreams of  tall houses and lists and people I’ve never met but know.  Then I wake up, a zombie, but a greatful zombie.

Me Warming Up by Andrew Pimento

This is one of the shots that Andrew sent from his evening at the theatre with me.  Show is going well.  Had a great laugh last night.  The lights went out mid-character on Susan and I had to improv for a couple of minutes.  Actual spontenaity in a show that tries to address soponetnaity in an artificial way.  I was still laughing during the curtain call.  Something perfect about it.  Lost my phone yesterday and spent today trying to replace it and get back up to speed. It was frightening to realize that I don’t know any phone numbers anymore.  I was pretty lost without the device.  The odd things we come to depend on.  Speaking of which, the odd dog is cone-free and back to normal oddness.

Iris Directing

Good shows on Saturday, the matinee was especially good.  It’s the difference between an audience entering the show with me and an audience simply watching me do the show.  Either works but the former is always more satisfying in the end.  A touring group organized through the NAC in Ottawa was at the Sunday matinee and I spoke the them at a brunch this morning.  A wonderful, engaged group of theatre lovers.  Today worked “Bingo” at Factory Theatre with the cast and Iris staging the reading and then the reading of the script happened tonight.  Much laughter and some terror for me.  It’s such a simple, sweet play and I’m so afraid of being seen as a simple, sweet guy.  Why?  Lots of reasons and no good ones I can think of.  The actors brought so much depth to the play.  Overall got much from it.  And made some good and profound changes in the script.   More on that later.

Turtle

This turtle lives at my Doctor Zhou’s office, my Chinese medicine doctor, I just met him yesterday.   Show is going well.  Great talk back last night.  Andrew Pimento, a high school student doing a photography project came by the theatre last night to do a study of “the actor preparing”.  He was a great photographer, totally unobtrusive.  I look forward to seeing the shots.  Emmy A is here visiting from Nova Scotia, staying with me, seeing some shows.  Today I see a rough cut of “Trigger”.  Looking very forward to it.  The odd dog broke a full length mirror this morning.  Since the mirror was from Ikea I don’t think it classifies as a true mirror and so the bad luck thing is not an issue.

Clinton, Caroline, Nigel, Melody

My quick out-of-focus shot after rehearsal today.  David F. wasn’t there so I had to read his part.  Dookie.  This is a play where the characters are Dookie, Heffer, Nurk, Bitsy and Boots.  That gives you some sense of the tone.   Show went very well last night.  Great audience.  It’s a good sign that even when I’m bone-tired the show and the crowd immediately pulls me out of it.

The Odd Dog

He doesn’t mind the cone as much as he might appear to.  This is the small one.  He wears the bigger one when I leave.  The bigger one is as big as he is.   Yesterday a great day, did the first day of workshop for Factory’s “Cross Currents” on “Bingo”, the comedy I wrote in my spare time at Banff last summer.  It’s all character and jokes.  It’s fun, but of course has this serious undercurrent that I can’t seem to escape.  Regardless, it’s fun.  Read by Caroline, Melody Johnson, Clinton Walker, Nigel Shawn Williams and David Ferry.  They are wonderful.  Another day of work tomorrow and then a public reading on Sunday.   Spent the morning downloading England Dan and John Ford Coley, Kiss and Minglewood Band for the reading. As I said, it’s fun.   Off to the theatre for the TIWHN.

Was

Many of the reviews are out.  Usually I only read the good ones since the good ones just bring on a kind of gratitude that moves through me and off, the bad ones tend to stick with me more than I like.  Richard O in the Toronto Star was a stellar and generous, John C in the Toronto Sun was also great and the last line made me laugh out loud.  J. Kelly in the Globe and Mail tricked me because it was three stars, the same as he gave “Communion” and that was a good review.  It started off complimentary but it ended up as pretty much a slam.  I read the first line of Chris H in Eye but knew to stop immediately.  I guess the bad ones do hurt my feelings but feelings are like fingernails, they’ll grow back.  And in the end it’s better for the show to have mixed reviews.  Sometimes a bunch of all-out raves can set up audience expectations that can never be met.  And also in the end I appreciate anyone who is writing about theatre, it keeps it alive in the press and that is so important.    The audiences are responding well and that’s all that matters, and I’m loving doing the show, it feels like a healthy thing for me.   I had two shows today.  Came home to check on the odd dog in between and he had pulled out his stitches so I spent two hours in animal emergency.  He was fine in the end but I was zonked.  A great audience tonight pulled me out of it.  But now … zzzzzzz.

Is

Finally

Well that was quite a week.  Finally on stage in the light before the audience.  And now the show can really enter my body.  Had a stupdendous preview on Wednesday afternoon with grade 11 and 12 students.  I was a little nervous before the show, wondering if the TIWHN world was a bit too adult and jaded for them, but they were so on-board.  A very engaged and generous audience.   We opened last night and it was a good show, not my best but solid and connected.  Openings are so odd.  It’s like there are several very distinct audiences with very different adgendas.  There’s the people who are paid to be there solely to have an opinion (and it’s hard to talk to someone who is taking notes), there are the people who are there because they love me and who know me intimately (and it’s hard to talk to people who know what is true and what is not of what I speak) there are the people who are there because they are on the board and they are obligated to be there (and it’s hard to talk to people who have just had a big plate of pasta and three glasses of wine) and there are the people who are simply theatre goers and want to be there (they are easy to talk to).  And it can also be hard getting that group together as one.  In the end I think I mostly succeeded in doing that.  I have a feeling I’m going to enjoy this challenge.

The odd dog got neutered yesterday, a gruesome and medieval sort of thing, but they say it’s humane.  He is fine.

When I Look Down

Taken from my phone during a tech run yesterday.   Started previewing on Monday.  Two shows today, a 1:30 matinee and an 8pm.  Tomorrow we open.  I’m getting into the zone.  It takes awhile to get the show in my body and that work really ramps up when the audience comes in.  I feel like I’ll be there for Thursday.  Mostly I’m getting it but there are still tiny blank spots where I find myself disconnecting.  It’s probably not noticeable from the audience - there’s a whole lot to keep track of - but I think it makes a difference overall.  The connections.  As well I am a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to nailing text, both in word and tone.  Brooks is on me though.  Good detailed notes and support as well.   Looking forward to finding my rhythm and my daily routine once I’m really running.

Screen Grab

An photo of a screen grab by Kim.  She was reviewing the Montreal workshop on her laptop and found this moment of the character “Mike”.  Certainly sums up his struggle with himself.  Or mine with me.  Or …  Deep deep into tcch now.    Everything firing on all levels.  Although I’m “enjoying” this I remember why I said I didn’t want to do the solo thing any more.  It is a churning of things, a manipulation of energy, paradoxically an elimination and a celebration of the self, and overall a metaphysical conjuring.  And it is important and difficult to walk away from all that when I walk away from the stage.   The odd dog certainly helps.